Persuasion

Here is an exercise about persuasive dialogue. The biggest critique in class was that Jay got what he wanted too easily.

EXT. ALLEY WAY – DAY

A man dressed in clean but worn clothes stands on a mattress lying in a trash strewn alley. This is Jay, 27 years old. He is staring straight upwards, head cocked. He shifts position slightly but continues staring into the sky.

JAY

(loud)

Muuuuuuuuuse! Hello!

Jay paces in a brief circle, wringing his hands. Suddenly from the sky a blonde woman dressed in a bright blouse and a fluffy short skirt with red petticoat lacing drops onto Jay’s pile of blankets. She resembles the classic version of Cyndi Lauper. Jay smiles and becomes animated as she stands and brushes herself off.

MUSE

(paying attention to her dress only)

You know I have to take a fucking cab home every time we do this?

JAY

Sorry.

MUSE

Well you’re lucky cuz I don’t do this for everybody.

Jay rummages around in his pile of bedding that he makes his home. He pulls out a tarnished saxophone, licks his lips and saxophone reed and then stands staring at the woman. She raises an eyebrow.

MUSE

What.

JAY

Um, nothing. Just…

MUSE

Seriously Jay it’s your music not mine!

She turns her back to him.

JAY

I know but it’s… people really like the stuff we make better.

She turns to him with a flash of intensity.

Muse

(quickly)

What, did someone say something? What’d they say?

JAY

What did they saaay?

MUSE

Yes!

JAY

Oh, you know, they like it, they... it moves them, I can see it.

A pause.

JAY (CONT’D)

Just one more song Muse… I just want one.

She thinks for a minute, smoothing and picking a piece of debris off her dress. She exhales deeply with a huff and her posture changes as she places her hands on her hips.

MUSE

All of you fucking artists are so fucking… self-centered. Really I’m getting a little sick of this shit.

JAY

What? No. I name every song after you!

MUSE

No Jay, not this time, things have got to change. It’s always my idea but who always gets the credit? Not me! Like that little wimpy-ass French horn player who I got into Oberlin? He didn’t even say thanks. And Mister big stuff rapper, Sir Big Puffs-A-Lot whatever his name is? I got him a Grammy! Flowers, a card at least? No! Just take take take. And then you! I know what you named your last song Jay. That wasn’t my name. At least have the respect not to lie to my face.

JAY

Muse! No no, Muse, listen, when I play, I only think about you… I swear.

The muse turns and puts her head down. Jay moves to her and tries to make eye contact.

JAY

Are you, don’t cry Muse, please don’t cry. Listen… without you I’m nothing...

Jay tries to comfort her but she violently swipes his advance away. Her face is red and her mascara runs from tears.

MUSE

(outraged)

Stop it! Stop it goddamn it! You need me!? YOU!? What about me, I have dreams and wants and aspirations also. Me me me!!! What do I get out of all this?

She is fuming and paces back and forth. Jay tries to follow her but she moves too quickly.

JAY

It’s about the music Muse! Remember the music! You get songs, you get beauty.

MUSE

I don't know what music you've been listening to but beauty isn't one of the things I get out of this whole... ordeal. Headache yes. Beauty, no… I could give a shit.

A pause as she breathes deeply trying to catch her breath and wipe away her tears.

MUSE (CONT’D)

And I know what you do with the money you make playing the sidewalks, I know you jazz types and your… habits. I’m not here for that bullshit!

Jay hands her a handkerchief and she swipes it from him, blowing her nose.

MUSE (CONT’D)

You want a song Jay, you want a goddamn song? Play then. Play your little saxophone!

Jay’s eyes light up and he again licks his lips and reed in preparation, his gaze enthralled on the teary eyed woman. He slowly begins to blow and a single beautiful note rises and fills the alley. Jay’s eyes concentrate on the woman next to him, sustaining the note. He lightly and skillfully lets off the horn and begins to blow again, a beautiful new note rising, but abruptly cut off with a loud belching sound from the horn. Jay slowly raises his vision to the muse.

JAY

That’s mean.

The muse, now hiding a subtle smile looks coyly over her shoulder.

MUSE

(playfully but still teary)

Fucker.

JAY

So mean.

She starts laughing to herself, glancing at Jay. He turns, slightly embarrassed at being taken by her prank.

JAY

Well at least you’re smiling I guess. I’ll be starving here in this dark ass cold alley, broke ‘cause I got no new songs and you’ll be pulling pranks.

The muse smiles broadly but still has her back to him.

JAY (CONT’D)

We can do big things Muse, me and you, we could change jazz music if we wanted to, I’m ready. All I do is eat, sleep and play music, but if you want to joke around…

He shrugs and Muse turns and stares, face wiped straight now.

MUSE

You’d better be careful Jay. I won’t always be so nice.

Jay smiles and they stare. Then Jay’s bedding begins to rustle. A sleepy eyed woman with strewn dirty blonde hair sits up after being hidden by the bedding. Jay’s attention snaps behind him to her, then quickly back to the muse who has suddenly disappeared. He glances around the alley for her and then his vision once again rises to the sky.